Most Wanted Jutsu
by Wryly Fantarding
Summary: CGH Kotetsu and Izumo have a very bad idea that could turn out very well for Genma and Hayate. Will this become the most sought after jutsu in Konoha? KoIzu, GenHaya
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: **__Naruto is not our toy, although sometimes we wish it was. Everyone you meet here belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, we just borrow them, occasionally, with the exception of Dana, who belongs to Haya Madison._

_**Authors' Note:**__(Penbrydd and Haya Madison) This fic is clearly a sign that we have spent way too much time reading ffrants, over on livejournal. During some late-night conversation or other, we realised that certain bad!fic clichés probably were perfectly possible in the Narutoverse. And so, without further ado, we give you the most wanted jutsu!_

_This fic takes place (more or less) in the Cut-Glass Heart continuity, during the beginning of the timeskip. The continuity has careened off into an AU in which Hayate (just barely) survived his encounter with Baki._

_**Warnings:**_ _Yaoi, expletives, pure crack. (KoIzu, GenHaya)_

* * *

**Part I**  
Shizune sighed, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear as she bent over the Hokage's horribly disorganised desk, but it only slipped back out again. Looking entirely frazzled she attempted to blow it away from her face, but with little success. She tried to ignore it instead, now, as she straightened up after Tsunade -- normally she wouldn't be doing this alone, or at all, but she was alone on this office shift today and not everyone could be trusted to pick up after Tsunade. Really, she thought grimly, there were very few who could make any sense out of the disordered mess she called an office and walk out with their sanity intact. It was going to be a long afternoon, she mused as Tonton puttered about the office, quietly snorting to herself. A very long afternoon indeed. 

She looked up in mild surprise as the door to the office slid open -- had the Hokage forgotten something? "Ah, Tsunade-sama, was there something you --"

But it wasn't Tsunade; instead, it was two of her dedicated desk magpies, Kotetsu and Izumo, despite the fact that they both had the day off. They were shuffling slowly into the office, elbowing and smacking each other alternately and snickering almost embarrassedly between themselves. Shizune's face creased into a thoughtful frown almost immediately. If they were off duty, then what were they doing back here? Had they come in to help her out with the usual afternoon pickup? Her heart leapt briefly with hope, but it was just as soon brought down by the hissed and snickered remarks between the two of them.

"Go -- go, ask her."

"What? No, fuck you -- you ask her!"

"What? Why me? I thought you were --"

"Man, it was _your_ idea!"

Shizune blinked at them bewilderedly, still frowning. "Ah...is there something you two need?"

Kotetsu stepped up, looking just a little too entertained for Shizune's comfort. "We got into it with Genma last night, and now we're curious about something." He snickered quietly. "So, obviously, it's possible to channel chakra to your dick, but is it possible to --" He looked back at Izumo, who merely flicked his hand in a vaguely threatening gesture. "-- uh, I mean --" The chuunin cackled for a few seconds. "-- is it possible to do healing jutsu like that? I mean the potential for rough sex just goes through the roof, if it can be done." He grinned wickedly and glanced back at Izumo, again, who was watching Shizune expectantly.

She stared at them for a long moment before the look of horror finally spread over her face. "I -- wait, _what_? That's -- you can't really --" She spluttered helplessly, gesticulating wildly and uselessly with her hands -- the movements looked more like flailing than anything that was supposed to make sense. Were they _serious_? Had they really come in, on their _day off_, to ask her -- while she was still on duty -- a question like _this_? Maybe this was just some elaborate hoax. Kotetsu and Izumo were known for that sort of thing, so...

Izumo stepped forward this time, looking like he was trying to contain his own vast amusement. "I mean, we figured we'd ask you before we tried anything, Shizune-san," he said in a perfectly reasonable and matter-of-fact tone, though it was obvious to Kotetsu that he was just barely holding back the fits of snickers that threatened to spill into his words. "You're a really well-trained medic; you'd know. If it's something dangerous, then we figured we ought to know about it beforehand...but really -- can it be done? We _really_ want to know."

Shizune could only stammer uselessly at them some more. "But that's -- why would you -- that's just --"

"It's a present," Kotetsu improvised, still snickering. "You know, Genma's birthday's coming up. He likes it rough -- have you _seen_ the way he limps before breakfast? -- and Hayate's always so sick -- even more sick, now. I'm kind of surprised he made it. Anyway, it seemed like the perfect thing to get them was a bit of healing cock." He grinned at Shizune. "Can it be done?"

Shizune looked so mortified, now, that she seemed like she might just crawl under the desk and wait for them to go away. The colour had drained from her face -- because, oh gods, they _were_ serious, absolutely and completely, even if they were laughing. "I don't -- well, I suppose -- it could be _possible_, but I don't think that --"

"Awesome! That's all we needed to hear." Izumo positively beamed, his wide mouth stretching into a charming grin as he grabbed Kotetsu tightly by the wrist. "Thanks, Shizune-san! See you on Monday! Let's get the fuck out of here, Ko." He immediately began to drag Kotetsu out of the office, quite insistently, leaving a considerably more frazzled Shizune behind. She watched them go, in raggedly stunned silence, before slowly turning back to the desk and trying to return to her work.

A _very_ long afternoon, indeed.

Izumo and Kotetsu were howling with laughter by the time they cleared the front doors of the Hokage's tower, leaning on each other for support as they gasped for breath. Izumo slapped Kotetsu's arm playfully, snickering loudly.

"Oh, man -- giving the gift of the healing cock -- the hell were you _thinking_? I almost thought she wasn't going to believe you for a second there!"

"I was thinking about the fact that I _hadn't_ seen Genma limping, lately. If he's not limping, then he's probably not getting laid." Kotetsu shrugged, looking a good deal less entertained, now. "I don't know. It just suddenly occurred to me that it might be something to do, if we figure this out. It'll probably never work, but just the same, it's worth a shot." He reached out and slid a finger up the front of Izumo's pants. "Provided you don't manage to kill me with the chakra cock of destruction, first."

Izumo snorted and batted Kotetsu's hand away. "Destruction? No. I learned how to channel healing chakra, Ko. This'll just take a little extra concentration, that's all." The grin slipped from his face slightly as he turned his eyes up toward the sky, considering the rest of what Kotetsu had said. "Do you think they're okay? I mean -- well, maybe Genma's just been fucking Hayate instead, lately, or something. Do you think they're..." He gestured vaguely. "...going downhill, or something?"

"I don't know. The kid's pretty sick. I guess I'm kind of worried about what else Genma might be fucking. Civilians or something, like he used to." Kotetsu shrugged and looked out across the village. "For all that the kid almost got us killed -- and by Genma, no less -- I really don't want to see this go bad. Watching them -- it's like watching us, but with more coughing and less slapping. I look at Hayate, and I worry about you."

Izumo looked slightly uncomfortable for a moment before he reached over and slipped his hand into Kotetsu's. "Hey, don't you worry about me. Where am I gonna go? I'm not a walking deathtrap like that kid is." It was a joke, although a weak one. Hayate wasn't even a kid anymore, but the epithet had stuck so soundly that no one really remembered that. "I'm sure they're fine. Probably just having some tough times or something -- everyone hits their rough patches, you know?" He fell silent for a moment as he looked at Kotetsu. "Hell, maybe you're right. Even if Hayate throws things at us because he thinks we're making fun of him, maybe that is something we can give them. Shit, maybe it'd even _help_."

"As an added bonus, we get to do all the testing. Lots of testing." Kotetsu grinned, again, and reached out to squeeze Izumo's hip. For once, Izumo didn't slap him away. "We've got the day off. I've got nothing I'd rather be doing."

"You're damn right." The uncomfortable, distressed look slipped slowly off of Izumo's face, replaced with one of calculated desire. With unexpected speed, he reached down and gave Kotetsu's groin a quick, firm squeeze. "But --" He smirked at Kotetsu, a rare, mischievous lust flashing across his face -- a look that only Kotetsu ever got to see -- and he promptly leapt into a nearby tree. "You'll have to catch me first!" The words were still echoing in the air as he darted off quickly in the direction of their apartment, hopping tree branches and rooftops at trained speed.

"Dammit!" Kotetsu followed, moving less gracefully, but just as swiftly as Izumo. Trees and buildings flickered by as he chased his friend across the village. "I hope this is your exhibitionist streak showing, because if it's not, it's about to be." As they passed over a quiet park, Kotetsu sped up, just a bit, and launched himself forward, grabbing at Izumo's ankle. Izumo cursed as Kotetsu's fingers wrapped around his leg, and in some wholly improbable feat of flexibility, he twisted himself midair and managed to kick Kotetsu's hand away. He narrowly scored a landing on a nearby rooftop, skidding to a halt, and immediately clapped his hands together in a seal.

"Suiton: Mizuame nabara!" No sooner had the words left his mouth than were they followed by a stream of viscous, sticky liquid, spraying straight at Kotetsu -- it wouldn't stop him, but being drenched in the syrup sure as hell would slow him down. With a devious smirk, Izumo took off again.

Kotetsu howled in pure frustration as he twisted to avoid falling off the edge of roof, losing forward momentum. Without so much as a glance at the revolting fluid he found himself covered in, he leapt after Izumo, cursing as his feet peeled off the ground -- it might only be a few milliseconds loss, but it was the milliseconds that mattered in a chase like this. Lengthy strings of expletives accompanied every motion as he continued the pursuit, trying to clean one of his hands enough to reach into a pocket without sticking to it. Finally extracting a few shuriken and a coil of ninja wire, Kotetsu got serious. All he needed was a distraction on one side and a few weighted lengths of wire on the other, and just maybe he'd be able to drag Izumo down. "Katon: Goukyaku no jutsu!" He blew the fireball just to Izumo's left and tossed the shuriken along his other side.

Izumo instinctively dodged the fireball, leaning to the right, and his eyes widened as he realized, just a second too late, that it had been a trap. He felt the wire close around his upper body, pinning his arms to his sides -- he couldn't quite tug away; the coil dug into his skin through his clothing, topping him over. He just barely caught himself with some quickly channelled chakra to his feet, managing to stay up on the roof before he fell. He grunted, trying to pull his arms forward underneath the wire. If he could just...

With a shout of absolute glee, Kotetsu caught up, pouncing on Izumo and pulling them both to the rooftop, covered in syrup. "Hello, kitten. Miss me?" He rubbed his cheek against Izumo's, smearing syrup across his friend's face and hair. "I caught you. Does that mean I get to play with you, now?"

"You son of a --" Izumo cursed as the syrup rubbed off on him, tangling his hair. "Fuck! Do you know how long that takes to _wash out_?" He looked rightly horrified, writhing underneath Kotetsu as his hands finally clasped -- and then another smirk slid into place as his fingers, even smeared in syrup as they were, managed to form a hand seal. "Kawarimi no jutsu!"

There was a cloud of smoke, and then Kotetsu was no longer lying on top of Izumo, but a very sticky bundle of sticks. Izumo's triumphant laughter rang in the air behind him as he took off again, wiping his hands on his pants. Not much longer to their apartment, now...

"Dammit!" Kotetsu snarled, peeling his syrup-covered body off the roof and the sticks. He took off after Izumo, again, wondering how hey were going to get the syrup out of the carpet if they did manage to make it all the way home. The thought was quickly lost in the jumble of things he intended to do to his best friend when he finally caught up. The thought of Izumo, syrup-covered and tied down, pressed up against a wall, spurred him on, and he put on another burst of speed, slowly closing the gap between them.

Chancing a glance over his shoulder, Izumo swore. Kotetsu was catching up, and just a little too quickly for his comfort. Knowing he was burning energy and chakra in a way that would have been unacceptable on the field, he shoved a surge of chakra down to his legs and feet, almost matching Kotetsu's increase in speed, but not quite. As he swung tightly around a corner, nearly snapping a tree branch beneath his feet, he saw their apartment building come into view. Another minute and he'd be diving in through the windows -- fuck doors. There was no _time_ for doors.

Kotetsu felt his fingers slide off the heel of Izumo's sandal as his friend whipped the living room window open and dove through it. He burned enough chakra to turn himself and follow feet first -- just in case Izumo decided to slam the window on him -- and was pleasantly surprised when he actually met the floor. Izumo was already out of the living room by then, though, having leapt immediately into the bathroom. The sound of running water pounding against the tiled floor filled the apartment -- Izumo wanted that junk out of his hair, and _fast_.

Checking his pockets for paper, Kotetsu followed Izumo's last leap and stepped into the shower, fully dressed. The syrup began to melt off him under the hot water as he pressed Izumo against the wall and kissed him. "Got you."

Izumo grinned wickedly back at him, the hot water seeping into both of their clothes -- he hadn't bothered to get undressed, either, nor had he had time to pull the showerhead from its holding place on the wall. His hair, still partly sticky with syrup, clung to his face and clothed neck, and he licked his lips, rolling his hips against Kotetsu's. "I got tired of running," he purred.

With a quiet growl, Kotetsu pushed back, grinding his hips against Izumo as his fingers fumbled with the buttons on the other chuunin's jacket. Buttons were bad enough, in his opinion, but once you were dealing with small metal buttons in wet fabric, things just got irritating. "I caught you once -- I could have done it again. The only reason you got away from me is that you drive me to distraction." He pushed his hair out of his face and licked Izumo's lips before returning to the buttons. "All I could think about was how very delicious you looked tied down under me."

Izumo's grin was turning hazy with lust as they both became thoroughly soaked under the shower. He leaned forward slightly, licking at Kotetsu's neck. The other chuunin's skin fostered a lingering sweetness from the syrup. "You want to just _tie _me up and _fuck_ me?" he murmured breathily into Kotetsu's ear, his voice barely audible over the drum of the shower.

Kotetsu's cock leapt, uncomfortably catching on his pants. "You know I do," he breathed, nipping at Izumo's ear. "You know how much I love watching you squirm and beg for me." The last of the buttons finally surrendered, and he pushed the jacket back off of Izumo's shoulders, tangling it around his sodden friend's wrists. "For all that I only want you, I love it when you show me that you're mine." With a growl, Kotetsu rolled his hips again and pressed his mouth to Izumo's neck, tugging the ever-present cloth down with his teeth and licking and sucking the uncovered flesh.

Izumo's head tipped back against the tiled wall, a low moan trickling from his mouth. "Mm -- all yours, Ko," he breathed. "Wouldn't try crazy shit like this with anyone else." He absent-mindedly tried to tug his hands free from behind his back, but the fabric was heavy with water and stuck tightly to his hands -- Kotetsu had quite effectively bound his wrists.

Drawing a kunai from one pocket, Kotetsu pulled the thin white shirt away from Izumo's chest and touched the blade to it. "I know you have more of these. I've seen your laundry pile." He slit the fabric and pushed the damaged shirt back to join the jacket at Izumo's wrists before tucking the kunai back into his pocket and running both hands over Izumo's smooth, wet chest. "Do you even know how good you look?"

Izumo moaned with deliberate sensuality, arching his hips out to Kotetsu, who caught the front of his pants in one hand. "Only half as good as you look bent over, just for me," he managed to purr, giving his hands another discreet, experimental tug. The fabric only tightened around his wrists. Not that he was planning on breaking away just this moment, but...

Kotetsu opened Izumo's pants and slid them and the accompanying briefs down as he lowered himself to his knees. "Do I really look that good from behind? I always thought this was a better view." He kissed the tip of Izumo's cock before lapping at the head, temptingly, as he grinned lasciviously. Izumo's hips rolled involuntarily, and the brunet shinobi groaned low in his throat for a long, tense moment, quivering as he tried to get control of himself.

"The view's always good," he told Kotetsu, voice husky, but tensed as his best friend looked as though he were going to give Izumo's waiting erection a little more of that much-needed attention. "Wait," he said, voice strained, still tugging hopefully at the jacket tangled around his wrists -- no dice. He clenched his jaw.

Kotetsu stopped licking and looked up, squinting as the water from the shower hammered his face. "Waiting. Do you _not_ want your dick sucked? 'Cause I think that's a first."

"No -- no," Izumo panted, shaking his head. "That's not --" He swallowed, closing his eyes. "Just give me a minute. Just have to..." It was awfully hard to muster up healing chakra, he found, when he was soaked in hot water, painfully hard, and with a waiting and eager Kotetsu at his feet. It wasn't a whole lot easier to push that chakra into his swollen cock, and his knees nearly buckled as he felt the pleasant, prickling, warm-and-cool sensation spread over his delicately sensitive skin. It was a feeling that didn't usually catch his attention when he was using the chakra in his hands for its actual, intended purposes, but apparently his cock was another matter entirely.

"Okay," he gurgled at last, opening his eyes halfway.

Eyeing Izumo curiously, Kotetsu returned to licking, somewhat surprised at the pleasant flow of chakra that met his tongue. "Holy fuck, Izumo. You weren't kidding," he breathed, amazed, before sliding the hot, hard, chakra-flooded cock into his mouth. As he sucked, he noticed that the usual assortment of cracks in his lips were closing, and the spot where he'd burned his tongue on his tea at lunch was no longer noticeable. He made a note to himself to come home and let Izumo fuck his mouth the next time he got punched in the teeth.

Izumo was beginning to shake slightly from the effort of keeping the chakra steady in his cock and the all too pleasurable sensations flitting through him. He struggled to keep himself upright, unable to use his hands to hold on to anything. "Oh, gods, Ko --" His voice shook and his hips bucked against Kotetsu's mouth, a look of unholy pleasure written across his face. "F-fuck..."

Tilting his head back, slightly, Kotetsu licked a final stripe along the bottom of Izumo's cock as he slid his lips off of it. "You're going to fall down and break my neck if I keep doing that, aren't you." He checked his hair for syrup and, finding none, reached over to turn off the shower as he stood. "If you think you can keep that up, I think we should try some other, more interesting things. Chakra-cock of healing and no lube. Do you think you'll be good enough to keep me begging for more?" Reaching behind Izumo, he untangled the jacket and let it and the shirt fall away. Izumo grabbed him almost immediately, pulling him into a brief, crushing kiss, his chakra-charged cock pressing tightly against the bulge in Kotetsu's pants. He was burning chakra fast to keep it like that, but he wasn't sure he'd be able to start it up again if he let go now.

Izumo broke the kiss, panting, only to tug insistently at Kotetsu's soaked pants. "Too many clothes," he breathed, voice almost slipping into a low growl. He opened Kotetsu's pants, pulling them down along with his wet boxer shorts. Kotetsu stepped out of them and kicked them away, and Izumo had to stop for a moment just to catch his breath and adjust his grip on the chakra flowing actively through his body. The moment passed, and he leaned forward to flick his tongue over the head of Kotetsu's cock, inhaling the heady, musky scent of his arousal. "Here?" he panted, starting to slide to his feet. Their bed was only about fifteen feet away, but Izumo wasn't sure he'd make it that far. The chakra thrumming through his cock was like a constant, teasing touch, feather-light and slowly tantalising him into maddening arousal.

"Too many fucking buttons," Kotetsu moaned, pulling at the front of his own jacket as he painstakingly worked his way down he line of them. "Yes, here. Right up against this wall, if you want. Just help me with this damned thing." Another button popped open, and Kotetsu grumbled irritatedly and sniffed as the soaking wet bandage finally began to slide down his face. Izumo groaned tensely in the back of his throat, shoving his hands forward to help Kotetsu with the buttons. He leaned in, tongue flicking over Kotetsu's wet face, and nipped at the bandage to nudge it up back his nose.

"Up against the wall," he breathed in Kotetsu's ear as soon as he'd helped his best friend out of the heavy jacket, sliding around behind him.

Stripping off his shirt, Kotetsu tossed it into the pile of sopping clothing that surrounded them before he folded his arms against the wall and ran his toes up the inside of Izumo's leg. It was an effort of will to keep his hand off his own cock, but he knew that he'd need both arms for balance until Izumo was all the way in, and the healing chakra began to take effect. He was a little bit spooked about what might happen if things went wrong, but he reassured himself that Izumo could probably fix anything he broke.

Barely suppressing a tight groan, Izumo leaned forward and kissed Kotetsu's neck before he sucked on two of his own fingers, lowering them to Kotetsu's backside. He was all fine with no lube on this one, but neither of them were completely certain on the effects of the chakra during actual sex. He didn't want to _break_ Kotetsu -- preparation was in order. Izumo dipped his fingers into Kotetsu, perhaps a little hurriedly, and sucked heatedly on his neck. Izumo held back a shudder as he slowly stretched out the taut ring of muscle, his fingers working in and out of Kotetsu. He was breathing raggedly when he finally pulled his fingers out, positioning the tip of his chakra-charged cock against Kotetsu's ass. He nipped at Kotetsu's ear as he began to push into his best friend, groaning low in his throat.

Kotetsu struggled to stay as relaxed as possible. Sure, Izumo's cock was only about as wide as two fingers, but that was a diameter, not a circumference. He felt his body stretch painfully, flesh tearing slightly at the initial penetration, but the healing chakra caught up fairly quickly, restoring the damage as it was done. The sudden introduction of healing chakra to otherwise unexpected parts of his anatomy had at once a calming effect and an extremely erotic undertone. He gritted his teeth and rolled his hips, snarling. A long, low moan poured from Izumo's mouth as he slowly slid out of Kotetsu, only to push back in -- a little faster this time, to see just how the chakra helped. It seemed to help a little with the lack of lubrication, but not entirely so -- what it did do, however, was make everything feel absolutely fucking wonderful.

"You like that, Ko?" Izumo breathed, nipping Kotetsu's ear again. "Feels good? Feels good to have me _fucking_ you like this?" He was entirely caught up in the moment, in the sensations, as he pulled out and pushed back in again, a little harder each time, gauging Kotetsu's reaction.

"Love it," Kotetsu snarled through clenched teeth, ignoring the spit that leaked out behind his words. Resting his head against the wall, he reached for his own cock. The warm buzz of chakra against the most sensitive point in his entire body was just a bit much, and he could feel the ripples of sensation rebounding from the end of every nerve in his body. Admittedly, if he wasn't careful, he was probably going to do himself some real damage, but that would probably repair itself in a few painful minutes. "You know I love it when you fuck me, Izumo," he panted, jaw still locked. "And if you keep fucking me with that fucking fantastic chakra-cock, I'm going to come so hard, so fast, I may never stand up again."

A moan of pure, liquid eroticism poured from Izumo's mouth directly into Kotetsu's ear, and he thrust inside Kotetsu again, with a fervour that rarely possessed him. "You'd better be able to stand up," Izumo groaned raggedly, gripping at Kotetsu's hips tightly enough to leave red marks behind on the skin. "Because if you can't stand up --" Izumo was thrusting viciously into Kotetsu now, the healing chakra burning hard, "-- then you can't fuck _me _like I'm fucking you _right now_." The words were panted, grunted, ground out, twisted by clenched teeth and heady breaths. He released one of Kotetsu's hips from his crushing grip, sliding it around front, and swatted Kotetsu's hand away from his cock. With a low, growling moan, he wrapped his own hand around it, somehow managing to channel a burst of healing chakra to his hand. "Like that, Ko?" He bit at the junction between Kotetsu's neck and shoulder. "Do you want to fuck my hand even more now, Ko? Say it -- tell me, Kotetsu." Even behind the unusually commanding tone, there was a strain of desperation leaking into every word.

A steady drizzle of drool leaked through Kotetsu's clenched teeth as he panted faster, breathing in time to Izumo's thrusts, with the occasional growl-turned-groan. He tried and failed to make words several times, resulting in aborted sounds, filled with desperation and raw lust. Regardless of what he might have wanted to do, he found himself completely unable to thrust into Izumo's grip -- feeling the cradle of his hips flooded with chakra from before and behind, it took all of his willpower and control just to remain standing. Every one of his nerves burned with the luxuriant flood of healing energy and the ensuing relief translated directly to a ravenous desire as the signals returned to his brain -- but he was sure he'd fall if he shifted his weight in the least. "Yes --! Yes, yes, yes!" he moaned. "I love it -- I want it -- I _need it_--" An unsettled grown became a deep and ravening snarl as he tried to breathe through it. "I want to rub my dick on you. I want to fuck your fist -- I just can't move." His voice shifted into a desperate and slightly frightened whine. "I can't move -- I want you, Izumo, I want to fuck you. I want you to fuck me. Things! You and me! And fucking! And I can't move!"

Sensing the lust-induced panic that had swiftly started to overtake Kotetsu, Izumo swallowed a moan and slowed his thrusting slightly, moving his hand along Kotetsu's dick. "Ssshh," he said, voice husky. "Calm down, Ko -- it's all right." He sucked lightly at Kotetsu's neck, moving his tongue slowly over the heated flesh. "You don't have to move. You just stand right there and let me fuck you, Ko. It'll be so good --" He bit back another groan, trying to rein in the previously unbridled lust. It was hard to keep control now with the way his swollen cock throbbed painfully inside of Kotetsu, demanding further attention. "It'll be good," he panted, voice hoarse, and rubbed his thumb over the head of Kotetsu's cock. "You just stand there. Just let me fuck you, Ko -- it'll be _so_ good." His voice was pleading now, begging Kotetsu to let him continue.

"Fuck -- Izumo -- why are you slowing down?" Kotetsu moaned, pleadingly. "Ohh --! I didn't mean for you to _stop_!" His teeth ground audibly, and his breathing sounded wet from the saliva slowly drizzling through them. Izumo shuddered against him, sucking harder on the already bruised skin.

"You want me to fuck you harder, Kotetsu?" he panted, drawing himself out of Kotetsu slowly. "You want me to _fuck_ you --" He thrust back in, hard and fast as before. "-- like _this_, Ko?"

Kotetsu moaned loudly, trailing off into a snarl. "Yes -- oh, gods, yes -- Izumo --!" He snarled and growled with every breath as the chakra tore through his body, burning its way into him and soothing its own passage. "Fuck me! Fuck me like that! Harder --! Faster --! Gods, yes!"

Izumo resumed his pace, picking up speed slightly, and fisted Kotetsu's cock in time with his thrusts. "Gods, Ko --" He shuddered again, burying himself in Kotetsu. "Talk to me," he panted, pleadingly. "Talk to me like that, Ko. Fuck --" For all his commandingly graphic commentary this time around, Izumo was the real sucker for dirty talk, of the two of them.

Kotetsu groaned lustily, rolling his head against the wall. It seemed he could move his neck without too much damage done. "You want me to beg you to fuck me, kitten? You want me to -- ah! -- plead with you to ram your dick into me?" He panted and snarled. "You want me to tell you how fucking incredible this feels? I love it when you fuck me. I love it when you shove it in so hard and so far I can almost taste your dick. And this -- nnnh! -- this chakra thing -- ah! --" He gave up and moaned with desire -- a pleading sound that conveyed what he had no words for. Izumo moaned right back, the sound breaking down into something thin and completely desperate -- no more commands, now.

"Oh, gods, Ko -- f-fuck --" Izumo's body spasmed briefly as he thrust in and out of Kotetsu, trying to keep both the rhythm of his hips and of his hand steady, but not entirely succeeding. His breath was heavy and ragged, his voice hoarse, as Kotetsu's every word and pleading noise burned into him, going straight to his painfully hard cock. It was a struggle now to keep up the active chakra flow in his body, with his climax so close -- he fucked Kotetsu with utter desperation, feeling himself teetering on the edge of self-control.

Kotetsu felt as though his skin might blister from the boiling lust that wracked his body as he spilled over Izumo's fist. His fingers scrabbled at the tile wall as his jaw clenched even tighter. Gasping and snarling, he finally found the strength to writhe, grinding back against Izumo's hips. "Izumo --! Yes -- fuck -- _yes_!"

Something raw and hoarse tore from Izumo's throat as Kotetsu's body tightened around his swollen cock, and he pushed harder into Kotetsu, body spasming as Kotetsu finally pushed him over the edge. He just barely -- so narrowly it was damn near dangerous -- had the presence of mind to stop channelling the chakra before he lost control entirely. Searing white heat tore through his body mercilessly, wringing every last drop of fierce pleasure from him, and it wasn't until after his body had stopped jerking and spasming did he realise that his fingernails were digging into Kotetsu's side. He stood there for a long moment, panting raggedly against Kotetsu as his body still twitched slightly in the aftermath, before his body gave in completely, and he crumpled to the tiled floor. Without Izumo supporting him, Kotetsu followed, swiftly, sliding down the wall before spilling backward across Izumo's legs.

"Ngh--" It was an abortive sound of protest at the knee digging into his back, but Kotetsu discovered it was easier to use the last of his strength to roll to the side instead of trying to form words. He dropped a hand on Izumo's thigh and squeezed gently, reassuringly. It was the last bit of sense that drizzled into his mind for a good long several minutes as the remnants of excess chakra still flickering through his system slowly began to dissipate. This was bliss -- every part of his body was perfectly relaxed. He hurt in a few places from hitting the floor, but he found he really couldn't be bothered to care. Izumo had finally actually fucked him completely and totally senseless.

Izumo just grunted in exhaustion, but it only came out as a pathetically feeble squeak. His entire body felt leaden -- he couldn't have moved if he'd wanted, and it _hurt_. He was still riding on the last waves of post-coital satisfaction, the pleasure mingling with the distant pain, so it took him a minute or two to realise -- oh, fuck -- he'd overdone it on the chakra, big time. He still lacked the precision and control to really be able to handle healing chakra for more than a minute or so at a time, and under a pressuring situation like that, he'd burned away his chakra so hard and so fast there was absolutely nothing left in him -- the price he paid for it was the toll taken on his entire body. He couldn't even so much as roll his head to look at Kotetsu. He wasn't going to be getting up for some time, he realised distantly, and the exhaustion began to claim his consciousness, too.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: **__Naruto is not our toy, although sometimes we wish it was. Everyone you meet here belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, we just borrow them, occasionally, with the exception of Dana, who belongs to Haya Madison._

_**Authors' Note:**__(Penbrydd and Haya Madison) This fic is clearly a sign that we have spent way too much time reading ffrants, over on livejournal. During some late-night conversation or other, we realised that certain bad!fic clichés probably were perfectly possible in the Narutoverse. And so, without further ado, we give you the most wanted jutsu!_

_This fic takes place (more or less) in the Cut-Glass Heart continuity, during the beginning of the timeskip. The continuity has careened off into an AU in which Hayate (just barely) survived his encounter with Baki._

_**Warnings:**_ _Yaoi, expletives, pure crack. (KoIzu, GenHaya)_

* * *

**Part II**  
Kotetsu leaned on the buzzer for Genma's apartment, using it for balance as the world spun again. Chakra burn, he was learning, was an entirely world-changing experience. He and Izumo had seriously overdone it over the last two days, and it was a testament to the resilience of youth that either of them could stand at all, nevermind actually walk as far as Genma's apartment. They'd finally gotten it right, though. At least they thought they'd gotten it right -- it would take a little more experimentation once they'd both actually recovered from the hellish amount of damage they'd done to themselves and each other. 

A wave of nausea rolled over Kotetsu as the door swung open, changing the air pressure on the stoop, ever so slightly. Genma was staring at him as though he were quite mad, at which point Kotetsu realised he was still leaning on the buzzer. He moved his hand to the doorframe with a sheepish grin. "Man, you are never going to believe what we just figured out how to do."

"Do I want to know? You look like hammered shit, Ko. I hope that's from _failed_ attempts at whatever the fuck you were trying to do." Genma shook his head and stood aside. "Can you two actually climb the stairs, or do you just want to stand here?"

Izumo blanched slightly at the mere suggestion of climbing the four flights of stairs up to Genma's apartment, but he seemed to consider it anyway. "Ko?" He glanced at Kotetsu, coughing to clear his throat -- still a little raw, it seemed. "Think it's worth seeing the look on the Gekkou kid's face?"

"If he even just laughs at us, it's probably worth it. Happy fucking birthday, Genma. We're here to make your boyfriend smile." He wrapped an arm around Izumo's waist and staggered toward the stairs, gesturing for Izumo to precede him.

Genma just shook his head, closed the door and followed the two up. As he walked into the apartment, he called out to Hayate, who was still in bed, buried up to his neck in blankets and generally displeased with the world. "Hey, love? Our pet magpies are here. They say they've got something to show us."

The only response at first was a long series of nasty, rheumy-sounding coughs, followed by some grotesque hacking and spitting. Izumo cringed slightly, exchanging a glance with Kotetsu. They didn't spend _too _much time around Hayate, but that sounded nasty, no matter who it was.

"Okay," came the croaking voice, strangely subdued.

Rubbing the bridge of his nose with two fingers, Genma offered the two chuunin an apologetic look before leading them into the bedroom. "Do you want me to get you some more tea?" he asked the wretchedly sick creature whose various bodily fluids decorated his pillowcase. Hayate had lost a lot of weight in the last year, and he didn't have much to spare, to begin with. There were whispers that he was going to be forced into retirement, in light of the crippling results of his near-death experience. Genma was terrified every time he left on a mission that Hayate would die before he got back -- just slip away like the ghost he almost was, these days. Hayate just shook his head, sniffling nasally, and reached out to Genma with a bone-thin hand, beckoning the older man to join him on the bed.

Kotetsu squeezed Izumo's hand and looked away as his throat tightened. Every time he'd seen Hayate since the exams, he'd been forced to wonder if he'd be able to handle something like that with as much grace and apparent serenity as Genma was taking it. He wasn't sure what he'd do if Izumo ever came back to him split open like Hayate had been. "Hey, kid," he choked out. "We brought you something."

At twenty-four, Hayate was hardly a kid anymore -- especially not by shinobi standards -- hell, he wasn't much of anything anymore, even if he was too damned stubborn to ever admit to it. He still insisted, even if it was only ever to Genma, Dana, and Raidou, and in between wet coughs and bouts of vomiting up yesterday's lunch, that he was _going_ to get better, and he was _going_ to be in the field again. Some days, it looked like it could happen -- but then there were other days, days like today, when it looked like he was just lucky to be alive.

He was still and always would be 'kid' to all of them, though, the baby of the group. And gods forbid he passed, Kotetsu thought fervently, because if he did, then that'd leave Izumo the baby of the group, and -- his heart skipped a nervous beat as his mind again tried to draw a line between Izumo and Hayate, himself and Genma, before he crammed that thought into the back of his head and tried to smile along with Izumo at Hayate.

It was encouraging, at least, to see the way the kid's face lit up dimly at Kotetsu's words. He seemed to be resignedly used to the way that even his closest friends looked at him now -- or sometimes, didn't look, as was the case with Kotetsu. He was just glad to see them, now. "What do you mean?" he asked, his unsettlingly subdued voice now tinged with curiosity -- the same kind of bland curiosity that had made him the quietly inquisitive person he was. The same curiosity that had, in its own twisted way, nearly cost him his life.

Izumo glanced at Kotetsu, clearing his throat a little. "We've been, you know -- well, we're us," he said, quite naturally -- he was so much better than Kotetsu at controlling the tone of his voice, and for that he was thankful. He even managed to bring a little bit of the mischievous smirk back onto his face. "Kotetsu and I worked out this _neat_ little trick with healing chakra -- I'm sure it'll help spice up you and Genma's lives a little..."

Kotetsu grinned wickedly. "When we're done teaching this one to Genma, you might even make it out of bed _twice_ in a week." He wobbled, grabbing Genma's shoulder for balance. "Testing was a little rough, but we think we've got it down to a fine art, now."

"You know, Ko, I've seen your definition of art. I think I'm even more concerned now than when you showed up looking like you'd been trampled by an invasion force." Genma wrapped an arm around Kotetsu's waist, supporting him.

"Thanks. I was on the wrong end of the first attempt. I'm still pretty burnt." Kotetsu sniffed, relaxing as he slumped against Genma. "But it's safe, now. I think we've worked out all the bugs."

"Wrong end my _ass_," Izumo snorted, finding it a little easier to act natural now. The atmosphere was lightening, and a discreet glance back at Hayate showed that the kid was at least trying to go along with it, looking faintly amused even in his state. "You enjoyed it -- you even told me so. Graphically." He grinned at Genma as Kotetsu groaned and buried his face in Genma's shoulder. "You ever learn to channel healing chakra?"

"I live with _who_?" Genma stared at Izumo as though the chuunin were completely stupid. "Yeah, I can do it. Not medic-nin levels of it, but I can hold him together long enough to get a medic. What does that have to do with anything?"

"Everything. Absolutely everything," Kotetsu laughed. "Holy fuck, it's incredible what that man can do with his --" he stopped suddenly and smirked. Hayate's ashen face was tinted wtih a bit of colour -- embarrassment, even if he did seem to still be amused. For once, Izumo didn't reach out and slap Kotetsu.

"You really should try it, Genma," Izumo advised, grinning widely. "Feels fucking incredible on both ends. Seriously -- it makes the chakra burn all worthwhile. I've never had a better fuck in all my life."

"What the fuck are you two --" It suddenly sank in. "Oh, _fuck_ no. You didn't..." Genma turned his stunned and slightly horrified face toward Izumo as Kotetsu began to snicker against his shoulder. Izumo just kept on grinning.

"Oh, we did. Several times."

Hayate was coughing now, but quietly -- he seemed to be choking on his own breath out of sheer shock and embarrassment. But after a few moments, it became apparent that that wasn't the case -- because after a few moments, his laughter, however hoarse and mingled with rheumy coughs, became clearly audible. He was laughing -- the kid was _laughing_. Not just a little dry, quiet chuckle, either -- he was shaking slightly with each wheezed-out laugh, his face lit up like it had used to, before the incident. It was the first time he'd really laughed in -- well -- months, at least. Maybe even longer. Izumo did well to hide his pleasant surprise and just kept on grinning at Genma, even as Hayate doubled over and started _really_ coughing amidst the laughter, though he hardly seemed to mind this time.

Genma left Kotetsu sitting on the edge of the dresser as he moved to sit by Hayate's side. "Hey, don't die laughing. I'd be pissed." He grabbed a handful of tissues from the bedside table and handed them to the kid. Rubbing Hayate's back, all he could think was how incredibly lucky he was to have heard that laugh again. The kid had never laughed much, but the last several months had been especially hard on both of them. "And you two think you can teach me to do this so that I don't end up like him?" He pointed at Kotetsu.

"Probably. I'm not much for healing so it took me few tries to get it anything like right." Kotetsu laughed and grinned. "It's why Izumo always gets to scrape my ass off the ground." _It's also why I take most of the hits intended for him. Don't lose the only medic you have, even if he's not really a medic. Of course, now..._ The grin was stuck quite firmly in place as the lechery began to leak into it. Izumo snickered quietly, though he was carefully watching Hayate now as the kid's coughing began to subside, and he spat into the wad of tissues.

"I'm okay," he wheezed insistently at Genma, the tired smile stuck on his face, though he still rested heavily against the older tokujou while he caught his breath. Hayate honestly seemed _happy_ right then, like they'd actually done a fair bit to brighten up his day -- hell, his _week_. Izumo smiled at Kotetsu, something softer there. They'd actually _done_ it.

"It just takes practice," Izumo offered, nodding at Genma. "Though I'd suggest, you know, jerking it a couple of times to test it before you turn it on the kid. No fair to make him your guinea pig, right?"

"I was going to ask to borrow one of you two for testing purposes -- possibly both of you. You've already done this. You know how it's supposed to work. I'm a little afraid of killing him if I only test it on myself -- I'm looking at the two of you, and while I don't figure I'm going to do that to myself, that's probably only because there's instant feedback on _exactly_ what's going on." Genma looked completely honest -- sincerely worried, instead of making an excuse to fuck someone who wasn't going to push him off and start coughing up a lung in the middle of the act.

Kotetsu looked sharply at Izumo before he got control of himself and forced a smug look onto his face. "I told you it would happen eventually. The great Shiranui Genma has been reduced to begging us for sex." He held out his hand to Izumo and sniffed. "I win. You owe me." Izumo snorted, swatting his hand away, but his eyes were fixed on Genma and Hayate.

As far as they knew, Genma hadn't screwed around in years -- hadn't stuck his dick in anything but Hayate since the war with Kusa. Well, there were those few months a couple years ago, but the two of them had had a falling out that had resulted in Hayate running off with that ANBU girl, and Genma had run himself to exhaustion, fucking everything that breathed, between missions. That had been an ugly time, and Kotetsu could remember having carried Genma back home a few times, drunk and bloody. Raidou had never been upset at being roused from his sleep to take care of his best friend. He just looked sad and tired and occasionally grim.

This time, though, Genma seemed to be motivated by genuine concern for Hayate. It still didn't sit quite right with him, but he had to admit that Genma had an excellent point. It would be Hayate's decision. Hayate was the one with something to lose. Kotetsu had never had anyone but Izumo, but if it would keep Hayate alive -- truly living instead of just sinking through survival toward the grave -- he was willing to break that streak. Besides, it was _Genma_. He had to admit he'd always been at least a _little_ curious.

Izumo just watched Genma and Hayate -- observed keenly as the peaky smile faded away into something uncomfortable, almost frightened. Hayate swallowed a mouthful of spit and phlegm, staring back at Izumo and Kotetsu. What Genma had suggested was obviously striking him in a weak spot -- a quiet insecurity that had slowly gnawed a hole in him since the incident. It was true that, with the exception of the time during Hayate's short-lived affair with Yuugao, Genma hadn't slept with anyone but him -- because he'd been satisfied with Hayate. He hadn't _needed_ anyone else. But ever since Hayate had so narrowly evaded death that night, things had changed vastly. It seemed that Hayate had lived, since then, in quiet, hidden fear that Genma would leave him, now that he was little more than an invalid, and that fear was only coming to light now.

He turned his gaze on Genma, his dark eyes fixated on the older tokujou's face. He was hesitant -- afraid, even -- and even as he sunk lower beneath the blankets into the bed, his eyes never left Genma's face, as if seeking some reassurance. Genma slipped his arms around Hayate, holding him carefully.

"Look at them, love. They're serious. They've done it." He kissed Hayate's cheek. "I'm just terrified that if I don't get it right --" He pointed to Kotetsu. "Are you going to try to tell me that you'd survive that?"

"It's fantastic if it's done right -- shit, it's fantastic if it's done wrong -- but he does make a good point about you living through it if it's done wrong. If he gets it right, though... Seriously, I don't think I'd be standing up if we _hadn't_ gotten it right, eventually." Kotetsu shrugged. "Decision's yours, Hayate. I love my Izumo, but if fucking Genma a few times is what it takes to get him to stay in bed _with you_ all day, then I'll do it. You look like hell."

Hayate stared at him helplessly, then back at Genma. Izumo fought to keep his face neutral as he watched Hayate leaned in close to Genma, whispering something quietly, apprehensively, in his ear -- words that were obviously not meant for Kotetsu or Izumo.

Genma reflexively pulled him closer and kissed him warmly. Regardless of what he thought of the way Hayate tasted, Genma was sure that here was no better reassurance of one's love than to willingly and gladly plunge one's tongue into a mouthful of phlegm for a passionate kiss. As he finally drew his lips away, he stroked Hayate's face and murmured into his ear. Hayate's face tinged slightly with a dull pink, but he looked significantly less discomfited, now -- relieved, even. Shifting on the bed next to Genma, he turned over onto his side and wrapped his thin arms tightly around Genma's shoulders. He buried his face in the crook of Genma's neck, breathing deeply, if a little wheezily. Izumo's brow furrowed slightly as he watched the quiet exchange, catching Genma's eye. _Everything okay here?_

Genma smiled serenely at Izumo as he adjusted the blankets, pulling up a corner to wrap around Hayate's back. Kotetsu kept his eyes on Izumo, as well. Whatever was happening between Genma and Hayate was not meant to be seen -- at least not by him, even if it did seem to be in response to something he had said. He just kept his eyes on Izumo, studying every line of his best friend's face and body as he had so many times before. If anything ever happened to Izumo... _Stop that. Stop that right now. You can think those things when you're alone, but don't think them here._

Izumo turned away from the silent scene before him and leaned over, as if to say something to Kotetsu, but kissed him on the cheek instead. Hayate stayed clinging to Genma for a long while, before he pulled back, as if suddenly remembering the other two people in the room. He coughed wetly, turning his face away from Genma, and blinked at them apologetically. "Um -- sorry," he mumbled; Genma never had been able to break him of his constant apology habit. "I, um...all right. It's all right. ...With me." It was a horribly awkward and vague answer, but the message was clear enough. The look on Hayate's face was nigh unreadable as he regarded Kotetsu and Izumo -- something along the lines of awkward thanks, a deep well of feeling still tinged with stale fear that lingered there, unwanted. And then, finally, he smiled at them, weakly, and dropped back against Genma.

Kotetsu wrapped an arm around Izumo's waist. "So, now that I've offered my ass for unthinkable purposes, I guess I should make sure you're not going to kill me in my sleep over it. Are you okay with this? I'm not sure I'm going to be able to do it without you." He nuzzled Izumo and looked back at Genma. "No offence, Genma, but if you're expecting me to show you how it's done, I'm going to need Izumo. I just don't think I can get it up for you, man."

Genma just laughed -- laughed at all of it. The entire situation was ridiculous, from the concept of the healing cock to the prospect of testing it out on Kotetsu. In some ways, he envied the chuunin -- the simplicity of knowing from the start that there was only one person who would ever do it for him and the years of unquestionable love. Kotetsu was putting a lot on the line for him, and if this went well, Genma would owe him for years to come.

Izumo just shook his head, giving Kotetsu a light shove. "He's picky," he told Genma, half-smirking at Kotetsu. "If I'd had a problem with you offering your ass to Genma, I think I'd have punched your teeth in about fifteen minutes ago." He cracked his knuckles, just to prove his point. "But, I trust you, and if it means the poor kid can finally get a decent dicking..."

Hayate coughed pointedly, looking embarrassed and slightly sulky as he sank into the bed against Genma. Izumo laughed a little. "Sorry, Hayate. No offence meant, there."

The fact that Genma didn't protest said a great deal. He was notoriously defensive of his abilities in the mind-blowing sex department, but now he just held Hayate, quietly, petting him idly.

Kotetsu looked slightly uncomfortable and sniffed, nudging Izumo's shoulder with his forehead. "I'm serious about you helping. If I'm going to do this, I'm going to need you to talk me through the whole thing." He grinned up at Izumo. "That and I just love listening to you talk dirty."

Izumo smacked Kotetsu lightly on the shoulder, but more out of principle than anything. "Of course I'll help. You don't think I'd just stand there while you and Genma get it on, do you?" He grinned, though a bit softly, at Hayate. "See what we're doing for you, kid? I hope you appreciate it. And I hope you enjoy the fruits of our labours, after."

Hayate just buried his face in Genma's shoulder, squirming limply on the bed, but he was so thin and bony that it looked more like a brief twitching. "Thanks," he muttered awkwardly.

As he glanced around the room, Kotetsu was struck with sudden inspiration. "Hey, if we're going to do this, let's do it right. You want a piece of this party, Hayate? Give Genma something he wants to look at while he does this instead of my sorry and significantly less white ass?" He grinned, and Genma choked, looking almost appalled by the idea. It was _almost_ a good idea, but he couldn't see Hayate taking it well -- the kid had always been a little insecure and a lot of jealous. And sure enough, Hayate looked patently horrified, even as subdued as he was.

Izumo turned and delivered a heavy smack upside Kotetsu's head, glaring at him in disbelief. "The fuck? What are you, fucking channelling Aoba or something? If that's it, then _stop_, man!"

"Ow! I'm just trying to be polite! I wouldn't _dare_ do this without you in the room, even if I _could_!" Kotetsu rubbed his head and looked mildly annoyed.

"He's not me," Izumo pointed out tartly, and offered an apologetic look to Hayate. "Sorry, kiddo. He didn't mean anything by it."

"Um...it's all right." Hayate managed a faint smile before he pulled away from Genma, leaning over the edge of the bed to spit a mouthful of whatever unspeakably disgusting substance he'd managed to hack up this time into the trash can. Izumo suppressed a mild shudder just listening to him and glanced at Kotetsu.

"Looks like the kid needs a little more rest," he said, though a little quietly -- it was hard to tell when Hayate was going to react badly to a comment like that. "And I'm pretty sure Shizune-san's drowning in paperwork by now. We ought to hit our afternoon shift soon." _I think they need some time alone,_ was the silent suggestion. _Give Hayate a little more time to think about this -- maybe a little more to smile about._

"I think you're right." Kotetsu slid off the edge of the dresser and considered his ability to stay vertical. "And I think if Shizune's up to her eyeballs, she won't notice if we take a few extra minutes in the file room." He rubbed his palm against Izumo's crotch before grinning over his shoulder at Genma. "You stay in bed. I know enough to lock your door on our way out."

Genma shook his head as Izumo sharply slapped Kotetsu's hand away, leaving a mild red mark behind. "Yeah, don't let me hear that you've fucked yourself to death. Who am I supposed to learn from then?"

"Too right. You can wait till the end of the shift, Kotetsu. Besides, you can barely move as it is." Izumo shook his head, slinging an arm about Kotetsu's shoulders. "We'll see you guys around, you know? Take care."

* * *

Genma lay on his back, hazy and panting, with Hayate collapsed on top of him, fingers still gripping his shoulders bruisingly hard. A slightly shaking Hayate relaxed his grip slightly, feeling his fingers ache -- hell, all of him ached, but pleasantly, at least -- and he tried to catch his breath, wheezing and rattling on top of Genma. They were both sweat-soaked and satisfied, and Genma's hand slipped between their bodies so that he could dip his fingers into the white smear across his belly. As he licked his fingers clean, noting that Hayate really did taste sicker than he had before, he found himself extremely grateful to Kotetsu and Izumo. "So was this as good as they said it would be, love?" 

Hayate couldn't quite move, still just struggling to breathe -- for a long moment, the only sounds that came from him were thin, wheezy gasps and stuttered coughs against Genma's shoulder. Finally he spoke, without lifting his head, if only because he had no energy to do so.

"I need you to get me some water, please," he rasped, voice a barely audible croak. "And then you have to come back to bed." A wheezy cough interrupted him, but only momentarily. "And then you're not allowed to leave."

Genma moaned, loudly, clutching Hayate to him, tightly. "I'm going to go make a pot of tea. Two pots of tea, maybe. And then I'm going to put it all on the nightstand, so that however much you drink, I won't have to get back up until you tell me to." He kissed Hayate and carefully rolled the little swordsman off of him. "Maybe I should get a bucket, too, and then you won't have to get up, either." Sliding swiftly out of the bed, he pulled the blankets up over Hayate's bone-thin body. _I've missed you, love._ With a thoroughly lascivious grin, he headed off to the kitchen, humming quietly to himself. This was warming up to be the best day he'd had in _years_.


End file.
